Day 5: What I want to do

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I’ve been doing more things that I WANT to do, instead of things that I ‘feel’ like I should be doing.

I’ve seen how this has made me that much more fulfilled. When I know truly what I want to do in a moment, what will make me satisfied/happy, then I’ve more often than not, been doing that, because it’s simply what I see that I’d like to be doing/what will bring me satisfaction, FOR ME.

And I’ve seen how when I don’t do things for myself, and I go against my wants, and I am mainly doing things for others/because of other reasons/beliefs, then I do not feel fulfilled entirely. And yes, it is compromising for myself. I’ve placed myself in a less than ideal/wanted situation when I go against my own wants.

Doings things for myself has been a great and fulfilling step I’ve taken, and am still taking.

An example recently was yesterday. Months ago I had paid money to attend an event. I was attending this event alone. And the event itself was yesterday. So, there were a few hours until the event was going to begin. I had time to spare.

I breathed a lot, I wanted to see where I was at, and what I truly wanted to do. I preferred to head home, eat something, do some things at home.

Many people would find that odd, since I had spent money, and I was not ‘having’ the ‘reward’.

But, in breathing, I realised that it did not phase me. I was well aware how much money I spent. I was well aware of the event itself and what I would potentially miss, but I did weigh up my options, my wants, and in the MOMENT, I wanted to head home, thus I did.

Now it is the day after, and I don’t regret my decision at all. In fact, it empowered me HUGELY. I love these small moments where I take the power back, so to speak, and I do things for me, and I truly feel empowered, grateful, fulfilled, that I am doing and making decisions that benefit myself.

And because I did this, I realised something. Because of the empowerment feeling/taking the power back, and giving the power to myself/upon/within myself, I had some great realisations about myself and my interactions, and awareness that comes back to my stability/confidence as a person.

It had to do with taking in my surroundings, of others, of life, of objects, of environments, to make myself more comfortable with all of these, and be one with them, as they are one with me – equals.

Thus, I’ve learnt a cool new method/tip to assist myself. This is what I saw I could improve/do which will impact my life/self from here and forever more, and it all came about simply from making a decision which I’d never have taken in the past. And a decision that suited my BEST INTERESTS. Amazing what empowerment/fulfillment can do, that is what I’ve realised for myself.

And so, after this realisation, I practiced it, and on the way home on my night time walk, I spoke a lot of self-forgiveness on the matter of my surroundings – being open, and one with them, to increase my comfortability and confidence, so all in all, a very successful decision that I took for myself, with lifetime benefits.

Desteni

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