Day 14 – Mama Mia!

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A videogame series I’ve always quite liked is the Mario Kart series. I like that it’s rather simple to pick up and play, and generally it is enjoyable no matter what your skill level may be. And it’s a laugh!

I want to share how I’ve assisted myself to implement certain changes through playing this videogame series.

Track selection

Previously whilst playing this series, I would always desire to choose a track that I felt I was quite adequate at. Basically, a track where I thought I had the best chance of winning. I realised that is not the point. I mean, looking at Mario Kart basically, that is the point, but it is NOT the point that serves my newfound purpose. That newfound purpose being to CHALLENGE myself. Challenge my skills. Learn. So therefore, now I often choose a track that I’m not so comfortable with, and that means less chances of winning a race.

Is that not a great way to go about it? To test oneself. Improve. Grow. I don’t want a potential cakewalk in this game, or in life. It’s also risky. We have to take chances/risks to improve, often. So, I do so by choosing a track which I am not so skilled in.

Use of items/to win

No, winning isn’t the most important thing, but if you’ve played Mario Kart before, you’d know that you can pick up various items to aid yourself whilst racing. In previous times, well, mostly when on the last lap of a track, I’d be trying to secure my place, whether that was 4th, 3rd, 2nd. These days, again, like the track selection, I take a risk by aiming my items/projectiles at the player infront of me, even if it costs me the position I’d previously just try to secure. Another risk. But hey, it pays off if it works!

 
So, there you have it. A few ways in which I’ve utlised this series to implement such changes within myself. And I mean, it’s a safe place to do so. It’s just a game. It’s not life or death. It’s a good platform to experiment. To try. To give it a go – and I have done.

Desteni

Day 13 – Moving out?

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I overheard someone I know mention they were moving to another property. In their list of considerations for a potential new property, I mean, apart from the common considerations such as price, practicality – another consideration was SAFETY.

Safety in terms of the neighbourhood, well – it just boils down to humans. Humans in the neighbourhood. Nobody/nothing else is causing potential safety concerns for others. It’s just humans.

Anyway, I heard this safety consideration, and immediately felt disappointed. I mean, it wasn’t a deep disappointment, it was just a realisation of disappointment. That one has to consider safety, and consider humans in that environment before potentially moving somewhere. And perhaps not considering certain locations due to fear.

Perhaps it’s known to some of crime in the area, or other various/similar incidents have occurred, which is perhaps how these people know of the potential issue of safety.

It can be seen as one being too fearful too, of course. Perhaps things being blown out of proportion, where the fear is irrational. Or can be a genuine concern for safety.

I want to focus on the genuine concern, and thus the fear of safety. As I said, that is super disappointing. I mean, it’s disappointing enough with the common considerations being price, practicality too. It’s hard enough finding a suitable premise in one’s income-range, and then also on top of that having to consider safety aspects.

It just reaffirms the need for us to change ourselves. Change our habits, patterns. And not to be hateful towards eachother. Not to discriminate. Accept eachother etc.

Let’s keep changing ourselves, and being examples towards others of the ability to change, and how to live kindness, love, appreciation, support.

Desteni

Day 12 – Working with, instead of against

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Working with work. That’s my main thing that I want to work with the most. Earlier, I was thinking how I am not working with work/my job. When it’s the end of the working week, I’m still super grateful, ha. I’ve made progress with this from my earlier life, as in, I don’t see work as so much of a hindrance now, because I’ve accepted that we all must work, make money, survive etc, but I see that I can do more to accept a job as part of my life, and work with the job, as opposed to having any opposition to it.

I commit myself to accept work/a job as part of my everyday living situation and needs to be effective in life/in the system.

I commit myself not to hold grudges/anger at anyone for ‘needing’ to work.

I commit myself to appreciate that I have a job, and can make ends meet.

I commit myself not to take my job for granted.

I commit myself to work with my job, instead of against it.

I commit myself to respect that all need to work.

Desteni

Day 11 – Wanting to plan for future

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I’ve had many moments where I think way too much about how a future potential scenario will happen. And, how am I going to handle it. It could be a moment that may not happen for another 30 years, or so, but it seems like such a big deal, that I want to prepare myself for it.

These moments where I desire to plan/prepare meticulously – I’ve realised these moments are a culmination of not trusting in myself to handle/respond to a future moment effectively. And, believing I need a whole bunch of planning/preparation, and believing I need the script figured out beforehand, otherwise I will fall and crumble when that future moments comes, or eventually comes.

A lot of moments are like that, I realise, where we simply do not trust ourselves enough to see things through. And we don’t trust in our abilities, and we judge ourselves way too much, and way too harshly. And look down upon ourselves. And see ourselves as weak. Weak, and unable to possibly succeed or do what’s necessary in a moment or situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to prepare/plan things meticulously, otherwise I will fail miserably, turn things into a disaster.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine my capabilities to respond effectively in a given moment, or even in an unexpected moment or situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a script to exist in case/if any potential event/situation occurs in my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not quick enough to respond effectively in a moment.

I commit myself to trust in myself, I commit myself to trust in my own abilities, I commit myself to trust in my own response-time/action-time in any moment.

I see, realise and understand that any script I come up with that I believe will make a future moment easier, while could assist, does NOT take into consideration all unique dimensions of a future moment, and so either way I will need to respond/action effectively with the unforeseen angles/dimensions that come up in any future moment.

Desteni

Day 10 – Purpose

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I can think of no greater, or much needed purpose, than change. Changing myself. Changing myself, and wanting to make an impact on others, and so therefore create something that WORKS in the world, and for everyone.

Previously I would be like “There’s no point. There’s too much shit happening on Earth. There are too many pricks. There is too much evil. Too much hate. I am only one person, what the fuck can I do?”

Of course, I can’t do shit with that thought process. With that thought process, I won’t even attempt to make myself a better person, let alone anyone else/anything.

It’s so easy, and tempting, to run away from the seemingly insurmountable. I have no doubt that world/human change IS basically insurmountable. Insurmountable in its scope. Insurmountable in the timeframe and how long it may take. BUT. It’s not insurmountable in terms of actually being able to change self. It’s not insurmountable to go from prick, to kind. From hate, to love. From fake, to genuine. From war, to peace.

We just have to all be in this together. We have to dismount a lot of what we’ve accepted within ourselves, and therefore the world, as our reflection of ourselves. What we’ve come to accept/allow in the world, in the many systems in our world/that make up our daily lives, is but a reflection of our own inner processes. We’ve manifested our toxicity in ourselves, and in ALL that we do, touch, and say.

If we can be toxic, then we can be clean. We can give a fuck. That is all we need. More people giving a fuck! Show some care, show some gratitude. Think about what you say to others, what you say to yourself. Think about potential consequences of your actions, and the potential impact of those around you. Don’t neglect.

See a way. See an alternative way. See MANY alternative ways. We can decide to make change in ourselves, and therefore each and EVERY system we’ve come to exist in/get angry at.

It’s never too late to do something about ANYTHING. All it takes is enough people, to do something.

Desteni

Day 9 – Comforting

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Comforting might not even be a ‘strong’ enough word. It is comforting to know, and to realise for me, that whatever may happen in my life, whatever relationship may come to be, whatever job, career, living scenario etc, I’ve got what I need, already.

That “already” pertains to the Desteni tools. When in doubt, when in struggle, when in ‘Hell’ – I write. I forgive myself. I commit myself. I come to understanding, to change, to clarification, to growth.

Certainly something powerful about that, to realise within myself that WHATEVER the Hell may happen in my life, the shit, the nice, the whatever, I’m fine, and I WILL be fine. Obviously it’s not to say that I won’t struggle, but it IS to say that I may struggle, but I know what I need to do, and I know how to move my body, how to move myself, what to say etc. I know to give myself the time if needed, the patience.

I am already complete.

I still have much growth to make, but I’m complete with the tools given to me, given to all.

I’ll always know where to turn to.

Desteni

Day 8 – In too deep

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In too deep

Romantic feelings can be super difficult to handle. Both to feel them, and to handle another’s romantics feelings for yourself. People have different ideas. Definitely, communication is so vital. Self-honesty is so vital. We must be real with ourselves, real with these people. To not fuck them over, or ourselves for that matter.

It can hurt A LOT to be upfront about these things. But it is worth the pain. I mean, it is as simple as, the longer it is left without this upfront-ness/being as self-honest as possible, the stronger the pain will be. Obviously therefore, it’s best to be upfront as EARLY as possible. Or at least, try to be. As I’ve witnessed, sometimes messages seem to not be clear enough/not heard as clearly, for various reasons.

Also, denial can be an issue. And fantasy. I mean, there’s so many factors that can exist when people want one thing, and others want another thing. So yes, I see it as best to keep pushing the message so to speak, like, if it takes many tries to get through to another, then do that. Do it constantly if need be. Fry those fantasies, those denials, and make shit real as possible. Sometimes realness and pain go hand in hand.

Be careful when starting, or potentially starting a romantic relationship. Check in with yourself OFTEN. That way, you can obviously be clear with yourself, and avoid it going TOO FAR, even too far to the point of not just beginning the romantic relationship, but marriage, and maybe kids, and however many years that may be where you two are together. Relationships crumble so often. Can be after 10, 20, 30 years. And if those individuals, or at least ONE checked in with themselves, those 30 years of suppression would not have to exist, and this whole unbalanced marriage/romantic relationship could have been avoided as what is best for both people in that relationship.

We must be careful, considerate. For ourselves, and others.

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